Codependency: Are you enabling your addict?


codependencyAre you in the grips of codependency and can’t find a way out? Do you keep “rescuing” your addict over and over again, hoping and praying that maybe this time things will be different? No one can deny the heartache and frustration of dealing with an addicted loved one. As a parent, partner, family member or friend of an addict you want to do everything in your power to help. But have your crossed the line into codependency? Here are a few signs that you may stuck in a cycle of codependency and enabling your addict:

  1. Do you feel the need to be in control?
  2. Were you raised in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic or drug addicted parent or was one of your parents ill?
  3. Do you have a hard time setting boundaries and want to please others?
  4. Do you put others head of yourself and feel the desire to be a caretaker?
  5. Do you spend time trying to fix other people instead of focusing on yourself?
  6. Do you have a hard time saying no?
  7. Does the thought of letting go and allowing others to make their own choices cause you anxiety?

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Many people who are caught up in codependency just can’t stop trying to fix their addict. It becomes a mission and they often feel they are the only one who can save the addict in their lives.

It is no accident that the addict most often has someone suffering from codependency in their life. The addict knows exactly how to push the buttons of the codependent to get what he or she wants. The codependent– desperate to help and fix the addict– gives in and will provide food, shelter, money and other comfort items to the addict, allowing the addict to avoid facing consequences of his or her behavior. The only way the addict can hit rock bottom and change is for the codependency behavior to stop.

The addict must face the truth and become responsible for his or her addiction without placing blame on others before being successful in treatment. Even the best rehabs and addiction professionals cannot help someone who continues to blame others and will not admit they have a problem. Many times the codependent and the addict need to be separated for a time period during the addiction treatment. If the addict goes in to a long term drug rehab for treatment, this allows both the addict and the codependent to seek help so that they can eventually reunite and develop a more healthy relationship.

If you are stuck in codependency and want to stop enabling the addict in your life, you must get help. A codependency coach is a great way to work on these issues. You need a specialist who is an expert in codependency and understands the condition and how to successfully treat it. Realizing you both have a problem is the first step for both the addict and the codependent to recover.

Florida is home to some of the very best rehabs and addiction professionals in Florida. The Florida Addiction Resource Directory had researched and found the best rehabs and addiction professionals in Florida and listed them here. When seeking healthcare or treatment of any kind, be sure to ask many questions and do your own research as well. Remember, the addict and the codependent must both be ready to accept help before treatment can be successful.

Codependency: Are you enabling your addict?

August 5, 2013 |

One thought on “Codependency: Are you enabling your addict?

  1. The only real and effective way that anyone can truly recommend as a method of dealing with the ingrained and endemic process of Co-Dependency is either a treatment at one of the few Programs extant one of which is in AZ (viz.Cottonwood). The other method is to immerse oneself in a long term commitment to attend CODA Meetings and read all of the literature extant within it to root out and overhaul ones outlook, character and personality developed over a life-time of living in an alcoholic home or within an alcoholic family. This takes a lot of work and a minimum of five years of weekly attendance and doing all of the 12 Steps and practicing the principles in a home, work, and social environments are required to adapt an effective and healthy repertoire of behaviors. I also believe from personal experience and involvement for personal reasons over the past 20 years that a long term Sobriety of several or many years must first be garnered before attempting to deal with this very painful material. The stress and psychological trauma of this information surfacing into ones consciousness and awareness could actually become a source of triggering substance abuse relapse. That is why from personal knowledge and experience i recommend a prolonged Sobriety first before reading the material and never just read it without developing a safety net of fellow recovering people engaged in this process as a support for facing this information, because issues of sexual, physical, and emotional and mental abuse often surface in this process of personal awakening and awareness. A strong spiritual program should be in place before attempting this part of Recovery which is, in my opinion one of the essential components in achieving lasting contentment and peace in living a happy, joyous, and free life

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